there's this revolutionary war quote about 'not shooting until you can see the whites of their eyes.' know the one i'm talking about? well i recently heard a much better take on that idea. except i don't know the exact phrasing, and i've been waiting to write some sort of post on here about it, and i don't want to botch it up. but here it goes anyway.
while visiting san diego last week, my dear friend and one of my mentors from loma, syl, shared this quote with me. we had a heart-to-heart chat, an absolutely life-giving conversation, over
con pane sandwiches. --> which i boldly stand by the claim that thier
veggie cobb is my favorite sandwich (specifically in the category of cold eats) in the entire world [avocados, roasted roma tomatoes, gorgonzola cheese, bean sprouts, red onions, romaine lettuce, and yummy spread on either rosemary or whole wheat bread]. um, yum. it's to die for. i'm not exaggerating when i say it's my favorite cold sandwich in the whole wide world. if you're ever in san diego, pleeease try it.
but, back to the quote. syl told me something she had recently heard from one of her friends, and it has continued to resonate with me... i just don't remember how to phrase it properly and accurately. the gist of it is this:
we need people in our lives both who know us and who can see the whites of our eyes.
amen and amen. ...except that it was phrased much more eloquently than that. i will try to update this once i have the whole thought spelled out a little more richer. the principle of the idea is still there though.
as i travel through different states, visiting friends and family (and friends who really should just be called
'family'), i am reminded of how true this concept really is... i am very thankful for my life in the büs, but living so far from all of the people that i love can take its toll. skype is a wonderful invention, but i don't think we can really see the whites of one another's eyes through technology. we need people whom we are actively journeying with who will know when we are hurting because they can see it in our eyes. in person. that has largely been the gift of my six-week break in the states: being with people who know me, who
get me, who can see
where i am at, and how i am really doing, based on the whites of my eyes.
is this echoing with anyone else? because i think it largely defines true community and what the church is to be. to and with one another. sharing life.
so as i have been with family and friends in colorado, california, idaho, minneapolis, and soon on to wisconsin, all i have is gratitude. your hospitality, authenticity, and your willingness to both open your homes and your lives speaks of real sharing and real love. it is a gift, a true gift, to be able to really see the whites of your eyes. thank you for seeing mine as well.
-------------
an amendment to this post:
my aforementioned friend and mentor, sylvia cortez, had this fuller and richer statement to add when i asked her to remind me how this idea was spelled out...
"We all need people in our lives that we can go to when we are really struggling, when we need to process, or when we are not doing well. These people need to be friends whom we can trust, who won't be judgmental, or advice givers necessarily, but who will simply listen to us and who know us in deep ways. Given the transitory nature in most people these days, many of us have these kinds of friendships with people who live in different parts of the country or world even...not necessarily in our own community. However, it's essential that we have a person or two within our community -- we need to be in relationship with people whom we actually see on a regular basis -- people who can see the whites of our eyes and because they know us well, are able to know, before we even tell them, that something is going on, that we need to talk, or that we need their presence."
amen and amen. so be it. that is my desire for life... that wherever i may
be, there
too will be such friendships.
that is good stuff syl. thank you for your words, and thank you for your presence in my life. thank you that even though we live on different continents, when we are back together, it is so rich....
...there is a real
sharing.
and
seeing.
and
being.