vienna waits for you

Last night, while I was driving, Billy Joel's song "Vienna" came up in the shuffled selections from my ipod, and it was just what I needed to hear.  In an interview, I heard him explain why he wrote this song and why Vienna was a metaphor for the way he wanted to approach life... as well as the realization that he didn't want his life to just slip by...  I feel ya' Billy.  I feel ya' big time.

I have so many dreams, so many ambitions, but even with those, I'm asking, "Where do I go from here...?"  These three weeks in San Diego have been such a gift -- space for both reflecting and asking hard questions while processing with people that I love and respect so much.  And while the world suddenly seems so open to me now that everything in Riverside has dissolved, I still am mourning all that has transpired in the past few months.

Mostly, even while I am in a season of grieving and introspection, I want to live fully in the moment -- again, to embrace what is present... to not let life pass me by.  And while I have months suddenly at my disposal, I want to take advantage of them... to travel, to explore, to try something new, to be shaped by something unfamiliar -- to have another adventure.  And as much as it is hurting to be leaving not only San Diego now, but the state of California altogether (that is just crazy), I think I am walking forward, making the best decision in the midst of crazy and unexpected circumstances, and taking advantage of some time to be immersed in the blanket of a Colorado winter.

A friend recently told me, "The world is your oyster right now."  And, I like that, a lot.  I think that same sentiment can be found in these lyrics from the piano man.  And, since I am exploring the possibility of serving as an Au Pair in Europe, who knows, maybe Vienna really is waiting for me?  : )  (Austria is one of countries that I've been seriously considering.)  As, I listened to this song last night, after saying goodbye to such treasured friends, not knowing when or where we'll see each other again (this is killing me!), I was comforted to know that: life is still there to be seized - in every season, in every place, and that, my friend, is the kind of person I want to be.  "When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?"

Oddly enough, this song confirmed that I made the right decision to be in Colorado for the month of December, as well as again confirming that I made the right decision to be in San Diego during this month.  Today, it's still so difficult to be leaving San Diego, a city that is full of so many people and places that I absolutely love... that have become home to me for the past five years... but Billy's helping me get through today.  Sing us a song.

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right (you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

shoo-fly

Like many Rocky Mountain people, I too, am getting pretty worried about the pine-beetle situation that's been happening in Colorado over the past few years, and the projections are looking pretty grim.  I've heard scary statistics about how these lil' guys could potentially wipe out Colorado forests, and it really does worry me.  The NYTimes has a video story on the mountain pine-beetle right now.  It looks like scientists, beetle experts, and forest rangers are looking at creative ways of addressing the problem, but they gotta' act FAST, and for many trees and forests, it just might be too late.  Watch the story by clicking below:

America's Disappearing Forests

Published: 08

The mountain pine beetle, an insect pest, is destroying massive swaths of American lodgepole pine.

everything changed

Everything changed

the day she figured out

there was exactly enough time

for the important things

in her life

-- "Enough Time", Brian Andreas

www.storypeople.com

Word. Word to your motha'. I want to discover this truth.

Time is always such an issue for everyone. Whenever you ask someone, "How are you doing?", you'll typically get one of two responses (and sometimes both!): either, "Tired." or "Busy." And although, I appreciate the honesty, I really do, there must be an alternative. Now, ya'll know I'm not calling for people to lie and say they're doing "Good" or "Fine" when in reality they are tired and busy, but I, myself, want to come to a place where there is 'exactly enough time for the important things in life'. That sounds amazing, and I really think it is possible; it's a matter of perspective, and it's a matter of intentional practice.

What things are life-giving? Being in San Diego these past few weeks has given me both time and space to explore this very question and more. Of course I came here with such high hopes that after the fall-out in R-side, I would be able to read a new book each day and meditate and think and just be. And although time still escapes me somehow, even when I don't have a job or classes to maintain, I think I am beginning to scratch the surface on this poem-statement at the beginning of this post.

Because ultimately what matters to me is people.

When it comes down to it, the important things are not things at all. Yes, I want to be saturated in the things that are life-giving to me like surrounding myself with good music, sitting in the sunshine, going for walks, riding my bike, reading a book for pleasure, dancing just to dance, preparing and eating healthy food, taking time to reflect, etc., BUT I have found that I don't take advantage of these things as much, to the fullest that is, when I feel like I am all alone. Meaning, living by myself in R-side had its perks, but when it came down to it, I wasn't experiencing the goodness and beauty of life as fully because there wasn't someone to enjoy it with. Does that make sense?

Being in San Diego, a city that I love, with so many dear friends in this same city, has made me realize that I am much more likely to hone into the little pleasures of life when there is someone to share them with... even if that sharing is just done in the re-counting of one's day before we head to bed. So, of course I love riding my bike with a friend, but even if I happen to go for a bike ride by myself, the fact that there is someone to share my bike story with at the end of the day makes it so much more delightful. Truly. Because then we're sharing life. Together.

And sharing life with people is what it all comes down to.

Yep. I want to be able to say, 'everything changed....'.

women: educated but still no job?

Here's a NYTimes article that describes the latest statistics of women in leadership in various countries. The US is definitely lagging behind most of Europe as well as behind other notable nations throughout the world. Get with the program, yo! The article states that women are just as educated as men, but there is not an equal share of leadership that would reflect this shared level of education. It does mention that Norway is one of the leaders when it comes to equality of the sexes - what up home roots. Here are two noteworthy quotes from the article:

“The world’s women are nearly as educated and as healthy as men, but are nowhere to be found in terms of decision-making,” said Saadia Zahidi of the World Economic Forum.

&:

“A nation’s competitiveness depends significantly on whether and how it educates and utilizes its female talent. To maximize its competitiveness and development potential, each country should strive for gender equality.”

I don't know if competitiveness should be our final goal, but I guess that's capitalism for you. Nonetheless, the quote still raises a good point - we must ask, first of all, whether we are offering true and equal education for women (in many world areas, education is not even an option for women), and second of all, whether we are then utilizing this female talent. Even in the US, we still have a long ways to go with this second one.

Specifically looking at the Church, how many women are currently being educated and supposedly "prepared" for a vocation that would serve the Church (say as a Pastor), and yet we find virtually no women in positions of leadership in the Church? Are we utilizing our female talent? I can't say with confidence that we are. Because in looking at the Church, and looking at very the education that prepares one for life and service to the Church, I think we're failing in both arenas: more often then not, girls and young women don't even grow up with the slightest notion that they too could serve the Church in leadership (we're talking more than just organizing the craft fairs and bake sales); we don't make space for exploration, where young girls could even dream about the possibility of serving as a pastor someday. So for the second account, it goes without saying that we aren't utilizing our female talent; if women haven't been able to simply consider pursuing vocational ministry in their education, then how can we even utilize them, even if we have the best of intentions? This ought not be! The Church must first show, in truth, to both boys and girls, young men and young women, that BOTH genders get to dream and consider a life of 'ministry' - with equal opportunity to serve as a Pastor. Then after that, we must follow through to Educate AND Utilize; the two must go hand in hand. [But then we're left with a little bit of a chicken-egg scenario... how can we show this truth to kids and youth if we aren't educating and utilizing our female potential in the immediate sense...?]

Homes, villages, cities, and countries are often carried on the backs of women... almost always in all of the behind-the-scenes work. Gender equality means a sharing of both the 'behind the scenes' work as well as positions of leadership and influence.

You can read the rest of the article here:

WORLD

Women Gain in Education but Not Power, Study Finds

By REUTERS

Published: November 13, 2008

A study found that women still lag far behind men in top political and decision-making roles, though their access to education and health care is nearly equal.

we share books, why not share bikes?

We've readily come to support the notion of public libraries, so why not public bikes as well?  It's the latest craze all over Europe, and the NYTimes keeps covering stories about this new transport system, so I thought I'd add a link to one of the stories below.  One of my favorite, favorite aspects of Europe is the fact that everyone seems to get from here to there by bike.  Only a few U.S. cities are as bike-friendly as most European cities; but as this article describes, even more European cities are jumping on the bike-band-wagon.  It sounds like D.C. is experimenting with a public bike project - let's see these same plans laid for other major U.S. cities.  Bring public bikes to the states!  We can share.  (Full story linked in article title below):

MEMO FROM BARCELONA

European Support for Bicycles Promotes Sharing of the Wheels

By ELISABETH ROSENTHAL

Published: November 10, 2008

Bicycle-sharing programs have sprung up and taken off across Europe, on a scale no one had thought possible and in places where bicycling had never been popular.

free musik

leaves that are green turn to brown

I was twenty-one years when I wrote this song.
Im twenty-two now, but I won't be for long
And time hurries on.
And the leaves that are green turn to brown,
And they wither with the wind,
And they crumble in your hand....

..Hello, hello, hello, hello

Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye, good-bye,

That's all there is.
And the leaves that are green turned to brown...

We'll, I've said goodbye to Riverside.  Cra-zy.  I never would have guessed that things would actually pan out this way.  What a loss.

I do feel like I have made the right decision, but it doesn't make it any easier to walk away at this point.  This Simon and Garfunkel tune (click above & play it while you read) has struck a chord with me the past few autumns, and this year is no exception.  The leaves that are green turn to brown...

There is much that I am saying goodbye to at the moment: new-formed relationships, a neighborhood that was becoming home, a gathered people, a dream for that gathered people, a city, and a dream for that very city -- opportunity that seemed endless.  Now...?  Now, what?  Goodbyes are simply hard - so painful to walk through and so difficult to stomach.  

I know there will be new things to say hello to... but at the moment, I am only filled with goodbyes.